Hindsight: Tales of Future Past

Posted: 19 August, 2010 in Blogging by GWT, Essays

I imagine an encounter with my past self would go something like this…


“Listen kid, I don’t have much time. I’m gonna tell you some things that are going to shape your future for the better, alright? So listen carefully.”


“First thing: She isn’t a lesbian.”


“Second thing: SHE is. There. I’ve just fixed your potential love life. Wait no, hold on: If you have to choose between the two, and you will, pick the nerdy one, not the tall one. I know you’ve got a thing for legs and all, but damn it the nerdy girl is the one to go with.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about–”

“Next, lets talk about your career choice. Listen man, go with school. I know you’re gonna panic because you missed your deadline, but wait it out and go to school. Don’t do anything rash and join something you can’t get away from, alright?”

“No really, I–”

“And another thing. This DeLorean? Don’t buy it. Time travel is cool and all, but this thing gets terrible mileage.”

“Noted. But–”

“Good. You’re set for a little while. Maybe you’ll turn out alright kid. Well, time to head back to the future and see if you screwed up. So help me, if you screwed up…!”

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