Archive for August, 2009

Dear Fox:  When you decide to not air an episode, make sure it’s not the LAST episode with all the whams and such of that particular season. I understand, you believe you’re doing your best, but if Firefly and the rest of your Canceled-In-Six-Episode-Shows indicate, you’re not very good at it.

However, feel free to meddle with Family Guy again. That show’s gone out of control.

Signed,

G.W.T.

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The Truth of Barack Obama’s “Health Care Plan”:

Presiden Barack Hussein Obama claims that his renovations to health care will renovate the way the nations citizens will be handled in regards to any medical funds. He claims that the universal government health care plan will help everyone, the sick and the healthy, the poor and the wealthy.

But lets shed light on how innovative his ideas truly are:

  • FACT: Did you know Obama’s Health Care plan only affects people of a certain age group? Not only that, but the plan doesn’t cover mental illnesses either.

  • In fact, Obama’s plan involves euthanasia: Anyone over 70 or afflicted by any mental illnesses are to be rounded up and brought to a local senate, where they will be judged. If the person in question does not display themselves as being productive to our society, they will be exterminated to ensure the purity of the citizens of the United States!

This revolutionary idea is proof that Obama is what they say he is: A Socialist, A Marxist, and THE ANTICHRIST!

If not for our servant of the lord, Sarah Palin, this abomination of a plan would have gone unnoticed and unchallenged. But not anymore! You can do everything in your power to help!

  • Obama needs young soldiers to fight for his cause and round up the ‘Impure’. If you run into anyone sporting one of Obama’s logos, assume that person is a member of the Obama Youth! Be sure to kill them on sight – reporting them to law enforcement is little good when their leader can waive them out of any trouble!
  • Anyone who follows Obama’s way is an enemy to the country, and anyone who supports this Obamination of an idea is worse than any hippie liberal! We must do everything in our power to oppose Obama, to send his ideas crashing. Stage protests, be they peaceful or violent or otherwise if it can undermine his authority!

  • The preachings of our leader Rush Limbaugh are the absolute truth: Everything Obama does will fail, and we will do everything in our power to do so! Do not relent! No member of the elderly or the sick should have to stand before his Death Panel!

  • Remember, Obama may not even be a true, red blooded American, but a dirty immigrant who cheated his way into the White House! If this is true, then his treacherous ways know no bounds! Even that, he could even be a Muslim – a religious TERRORIST! He must be stopped before his Jihadist ways claim our country’s integrity!

Fight this oppression, and fight the liberals “Messiah”! We must do everything in our power to oppose this socialist, Muslim threat to save our America, our Democracy!

Fight the Death Panel and you too can join the True Americans of the Right!

[This has been a paid service announcement by the True Americans of the Right!]

FUCK YEAH TVS!

Posted: 12 August, 2009 in Blogging by GWT
Tags: , , ,

Best Buy has either a disgruntled website designer, a huge typo, or has gone crazy in our recession.

52″ Plasma HDTVs are on sale for 9.99.
[This is a pause so people can piss their pants in excitement. I’ll wait.]
Thats the good news. The bad news is, Best Buy catches the crazy orders. If you’re ordering 50 tvs, they’ll cancel it, you crazies.

Oh wait…seems like it’s been taken down.
Well, you guys can just look at my order, then :D.

Lolawseome

I’ve had a few people ask me what G.W.T. stands for. To be honest, I’ve more or less abandoned it meaning anything and just go with “Three Constanants, no Vowels.” But, seeing as this doesn’t provide closure, I think I’ll humor the people asking and just make some shit up.

Pick your favorite. And if you favorite isn’t here, go ahead and make one up:

  • Gargling Walrus Tyrant
  • Gigantic White Tarantula
  • Greedy Weeping Tiger
  • Gone With Tension
  • Gilgamesh Wants Tits
  • Go West Traveler!
  • Get Wet, Tiny!
  • Ginormous Wanking Tiger
  • Going With Tom
  • Goddamn! Will’s Tough!
  • Gay Women Type?
  • Google With Terror
  • Great Writer Trinku (The Original!)
  • Guzulamagel Wirithtlag Tiamabtyh

There. Now you have one of NUMEROUS choices!

Happy guessing.

lol so randum XD!!!

Posted: 7 August, 2009 in Article, Blogging by GWT

So you’re browsing your favorite message board or whatever when you come across a new post from a new member. Being curious, you click upon it and find it riddled with AlT cApS, mispleeings, and lots of exclaimation makrs!!!!11111one!. Not only that, but this person seems to believe forks are hillarious and they have some kind of goofy nickname involving Doom.

Congratulations. You’ve just encountered the Lolrandom.

An Lolrandom is, well, usually a 13 year old girl who is, uh, “randum.” This is usually a fancy word for “Annoying a shit and needs to be removed with extreme prejudice. And possibly fire.”

They always claim to be a Tim Burton fan, or perhaps an Invader Zim fan (much to the ire of the creator). Often a hot topic regular. Likely to claim to be bi. This people are dangerous and probably not right in the head. They also seem to fail to realize that “lol so randum XD!!!” is not a compliment to their actions, but a sugar coated way of  saying “No one cares, you loon.” (more…)